Be the Friend Who Drops In

text a friend cuz you care, not cuz you're a shitass

personal stories, self-care, reflection, and healing refreshers for the soul.

Interest in others is too self-interested. Somewhere within the recent timeline I noticed anytime I heard from someone from my distant past, I’d have the same combo of emotions: excitement, then letdown as they got to the eventual reveal where they asked for a favor.

Self-serving goals shouldn’t be the motivation for living. Let’s hit each other up to be kind and spread love in this shitass world. In person, or more likely, online.

Lately, I’ve been getting highs off being more communicative with people outside my inner circle. It usually starts from a quick reply to their IG story.

They’re friends who are now acquaintances due to the span of time, people you drop in on comfortably—no one needs each other’s life updates, but neither side’s weirded out to make contact. No awkward history between you.

Old coworkers who will forever feel like extended family (trauma-bonding runs deep!), the ex-homie’s homie who’s still chill to you, someone you met at a basement show, a second cousin.

🎶 I wish you’d talk, talk wish you’d talk, talk. Wish you’d just talk to me 🎶

Be the friend who drops in on everyone now and again all the time. Don’t hesitate. If not now, when? No one’s counting how many years you didn’t reach out.

People like to be thought of and seen.

Today I was on the receiving end of a long-lost friend dm. A friend I hadn’t heard from in 3 years saw a poster that reminded him of the name of my zine. He snapped a photo and sent it.

A sentiment so simple!

It’s because we haven’t spoken in so long, and because he sent it not needing anything, no personal gain, that I received it with so much love. An otherwise silly photo of a sign held more meaning than he could know. His intention was pure thoughtfulness.

Do I treat my closest circle with this type of thoughtfulness?

We should all send each other metaphorical flowers to elicit friendly heart flutters.

As of this past weekend, I’m one year deeper into my 40th decade. I don’t have time to pause before reaching out to friends. Even the term friend has grown to encompass many ranges of connections. I used to reserve it for besties but have learned it applies to anyone I’ve shared a meaningful connection with.

My brother ran into a friend he hadn’t seen since high school and the friend told him, “You’re always in my heart.” We leave stamps on each other’s lives in more ways than we realize.

People lose track of time. Message each other, see each other and show interest out of deadass curiosity, care, and thoughtfulness. Don’t let society’s narcissistic motivations become your own.

Do you see this happening in your own feeds? How do you fight it? How are you part of it?