endorphin ready and willing
let’s float in feelings as we swim towards summer
personal stories, reflection, self-care, refreshment for the soul
I’m back with the jump off! Can you believe we’re 6 months into the year? Have you sat down with your journal and done a mid-year review? How’s your wheel of life lookin? I feel good. Better than I did last year, I think.
Did you know if you watch a show from 2015 the characters will not have aged but—UH-OH, I sure have! At the time of airing, I was 32, and a supporting character was 30 years old. That same guy (lol Ted) now looks like a baby 20 year-old to me. HELP. Despite the initial shock of that (second only to the shock of mathing out that 2015 was 11 YEAR AGO!), I recommend a Schitt’s Creek re-watch. Do it for Catherine O’Hara.
Here’s some recent feelings/moods floating around for me. Plus, check out b2b to catch 2 of my favorite 2026 songs so far!
Excitement!
When’s the last time you were excited for something? Truly and absolutely excited for something you had on your calendar? I asked myself the other day because I have felt exactly 2 excitements in like 365 days. But, this summer I have a fun event I’m going to, and since it’s warming up (today it’s 84) it’s hitting me. Weeks are progressing, even though each one seems like the last. Soon enough, I’ll get to feel excitement and joy in all my bones. I am endorphin-ready and willing. If you’re over 40 and able to find anything that elicits excitement, CELEBRATE. You made it this far without being overtaken by your own cynicism. Now that is something.
Obsession (not by Calvin Klein)
I’ve developed a better sense for when I’m in my own way. If I procrastinate on a project, I accept and try to uncover the real reason behind my idle state (fear), or when I find a new bad habit (sugar) to indulge in I spot it and tell myself, cut that out sis. My latest behavioral noticing is obsession. I’ve always been an obsessed type: obsessed with music, learning about bands/members, favorite tv shows, having so many crushes, and even obsessed with watching netflix (and watching through entire shows even when it’s mid, at best). I have a gimme gimme more, gimme more problem. Perhaps some of my examples are driven less by targeted obsession than by “collector’s mindset.” Consume and collect media to draw meaning out from our crowded landscapes of stuff! We know our feeds are keeping us in our own bubbles. The algorithms are regurgitating our obsessions back to us. I’ve been pondering what are my interests vs. obsessions? If you take them away, then what do I have? Where’s the root of the obsessions/interests? If I examine that, what else can I find out about myself?
Outgrown/Growing into something new
I’m working on redefining my wardrobe so it aligns with who I am. I am someone who wants UNIQLO silhouettes and well-made basics/neutrals forevermore. I’m also obsessed with Quince who just sent me the wrong item (I now own a Mongolian Cashmere sweater!). I donated a lot of stuff in April, but somehow I’m still holding onto too much. I decided on a vibe or it kinda naturally found me (I call it baby ahjumma1). Now, in addition to wearing my 40+ year-old woman “cloak of invisibility,” at least I’ll feel cute, for me.
back 2 back music bumps for the soul
Denzel Curry - “Hoopty” ft. TiaCorine and Smino
It’s summer, I’m on my way to the beach with my girlies, sticking my neck out the window.
NMIXX - “Heavy Serenade”
I don’t know who produces their songs but NMIXX is the only girl k-pop group that’s hitting with me2. I love the elements of dank, basement EDM/club, as much as I love the tempo switchups and pop-punky melodies of “Blue Valentine.”
I, too, am obsessed with Quince. Is the cashmere sweater worth it? Also, love the nod to Calvin Klein's Obsession. I just binged a Love Story about JFK Jr and Carol Bessette and all the 90s glory! Literally google CK One perfume dupes after viewing.