Getting the Band Back Together: Reunions with Friends

a week of happy reunions

personal stories, self-care, reflection, and healing refreshers for the soul.

I’m coming off a friend high. Two weeks of non-stop fun. In early midlife, it’s extra enjoyable to reunite with friends because we’re all done trying on weird identities and are back to our core selves but this time far more worldly. It’s sooo rejuvenating. Like, a spa day could never!

Here are the recent reunions that have me smiling like I won free Diet Cokes for the rest of my life:

1. The BFF Sis Reunion

My bff who I’ve known since we were 6 visited and she’s basically my sister. I introduce her to my brother’s friends as ‘basically his other sister.’ It’d been forever since we last walked around our hometown together. Our afternoons never failed us. We ran into people from high school every day.

During her visit my mom had an unexpected surgery and my bff was flexible and so understanding as she seamlessly adjusted her plans, while we awaited info on my mom’s status. It was extra comforting that she happened to be there because she’s fam! (Mom’s great now btw).

2. High School Boys Reunion

We went to (loyal readers know!) my dive bar. It was a rainy night, no one was out. The opposite of what I envisioned for my bff’s first time there. Then three guys from high school walked in. Two of them I hadn’t seen since the early Y2Ks! The emptiness of the bar was a blessing.

It was like the high school reunion our class never got, as we name-checked everyone and shared what we knew about people’s lives. Our grade never had a reunion because our class’ collective sense of humor meant we voted for a guy nicknamed Crust (he earned the name in 4th grade for his boogers), and who the hell knows where Crust is!?

Many rounds and flavors of jello shots were bought for us. Ain’t nothin like the og homies.

3. NYC + Me

It was 7 months since my last visit. This visit involved The Outsiders musical (go see it!), lots of dirty martinis, a friends wedding til 4am, and walking over the Brooklyn Bridge.

A wave of true reconnection to the city came when I walked 30 mins from Union Square to the LES. That stretch of the Bowery crossing Houston into the Lower is home to me. Toss my ashes up in the air there (and at the Korean spa, New York Spa & Sauna, tyvm).

4. College Brunch Reunion

It came together seamlessly. Six of us just happened to be in town. At this age I have the utmost appreciation for what shared experience and history does to us. It has been years since I’ve seen 5 of these friends but it quickly felt like we were at a house party together the other night.

As we left brunch to get a drink somewhere else someone said, ‘Wait, I feel like this exact group has done this before, only in Allston and walking to a party!’ This gave me more life than I expected; a lot of hearty laughs.

5. My New Mom Friend’s Night Out

I used to get together with my friend and catch up over drinks once a month and they were mutually beneficial, cathartic, therapeutic, depending on our storylines. Since I moved out of NYC she’s been living new mom life so when I’ve visited I’ve met her baby or had brunch with her and her husband.

I finally got her out, just her! She joined me and my two other bestie friends for wine and charcuterie. She needed it, and we all needed her out with us. We kept her out til 11pm - very late for Mom!

These reunions reminded me I’m more sociable than I thought I was growing up, and I lived too long believing the narrative that I was shy when I was more likely misunderstood, aloof, and eye-rolling my way through my angsty years.

Despite all the attitude, I’m proud of the friends I’ve kept through the decades.