Snow Storm Coziness, 2024 Vibe Check

warming up the heart

The snow total is 15.5 inches. The front door is un-openable. It’s a sunny morning, my street is barely plowed, and the sidewalks disappeared in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I lived outside of Massachusetts for so long I got used to the false promise of a snow storm in New York City. It always turns to rain or sleet/rain. Here, I’m surrounded by blankets of white in all directions. I must’ve been a teenager the last time I was around this much snow. I forgot the slightly magical feeling it brings with it. All the more special because it’s the first snow storm I’ve had living on my own. I cozily snacked on wasabi peas and ate ramen. Despite being solo at home, I felt closer to the community just knowing that everyone was at home waiting out mother nature.

snowy views in massachusetts from last night and this morning

After living in NYC, where no one lifts a finger except to make a meme (LOL, myself included), I understand my hometown friends in a new light. A couple of them had snow plowing jobs for many years. In my early 20s, I’d come home from Boston for winter break. We’d have late nights knowing they were on call for a storm coming in a matter of hours. It’s easy to think of them doing it with very few complaints, doing it cuz they had to, cuz it was their job, and cuz it brought them substantial cash flow. I have so much respect for that hustle and any backbreaking, potentially life-threatening job that makes the world go ’round. It’s also good to still know at least one snow plower, just in case.

what’s in store for ‘24?

2023, specifically the second half when I moved back to MA, was my favorite year so far. I regained a feeling of community and support. My heart warmed. I spoke honestly to everyone I love and received kind words of appreciation from friends and family.

My last few years in NYC I was lonely and isolated, unrooted to anything or anyone around me (jobless for 5 months, too). Just there, existing. Walking around among crowds of strangers only enhanced my feelings of loneliness. Had I not left I wouldn’t have recognized this as truth. Being in a position to be able to come back home after so long, and have longtime friends and acquaintances already in place has been beyond what I envisioned. I may have many quiet nights alone at home, but simply knowing they’re all out there, 5 minutes, 20 minutes away, is everything. The real ones who have got my back, compared to people I just drank next to. I’m no longer lost in a sea of a city I had no reason to be in. Any out of town friends I hadn’t seen in a while also showed up. Everyone who is supposed to be in my life showed up and showed out in 2023. I’ve re-rooted and am less disoriented than I was in January ’23. Reminds me of a 1999 song by Grade: This is a time in my life where everything is falling apart,
and at the same time it's all coming together. For me, ‘falling apart’ is rebuilding and transformation.

Starting off a new year feeling this aligned has me in disbelief - my inner world and outer world are finally matching up. Big, good things are coming. I don’t know what, but that’s what my vibe check says. Whatever I get up to this year will come from, or be informed by, my true, core sense of identity. She’s new here, and I trust her.