Adult Driving Lessons
i finally accepted that cars are the only way in the 'burbs
personal stories, reflection, self-care, refreshers for the soul.
I got my license in my 20s in Oakland and lived in public transit-accessible cities the whole time until I didn’t. Before this year, the last time I drove was in 2015 on a two-lane highway in Georgia. I’ve been proud of my low carbon footprint, thanks to city living, but I don’t live in a city anymore.
I moved back to my hometown in 2023 and needed 1.5 years to reset (NYC me was: bars, parties and many after-hours). Two years ago was the first time I ever had a 100% peaceful living environment all to myself. My brain/body had to let out a year-long sighhhh! as I readjusted to normal sleep patterns and much lower levels of visual stimuli all day, every day.
So when I signed up for Adult Driving Lessons (sounds sexy!) I felt more in control of life than ever. While I had a permit as a teenager (but never took the test) I don’t remember ever feeling ready or excited about it. I went along with it cuz I was supposed to.
As I rang in 2025 I wrote driving lessons down as the first thing on the list, even though I still felt fearful.
This is the part that is a true change in me. Aging is marvelous, you see! You get out of your own way. You commit to the thing–whatever it is!–even when you’re not quite ready yet. And cuz somewhere deep in ya bones you know you got the JUICE!
I timelined my driving lesson goal to start in August/September, but I experienced a new type of confidence that I discovered (or recovered) from doing creative self-help work1. For me, writing things down is the magic sauce for pushing my procrastinating ass into action. However, in my daily stream-of-consciousness writing I started to pick up on how often I wrote about “not being able to drive” and wishing I could. I slowly accepted my non-driver status, saw it as the restriction it is, holding me back from fully living. Plus, Ubers out here can cost $15 for a 3-minute drive!
Still, even I was surprised in April when I got off the phone with the driving school as a fully enrolled student on her way to 6 one-hour lessons.
On my first lesson the instructor learned I have a valid license and this is the first refresher lesson. He saw I had the basics down and wasn’t trying to speed or take calls in the middle of a lesson like his teen students have. Then we freestyled our route to the neighboring town over as he talked non-stop the whole time, asking me what Netflix shows I was watching, telling me about some cop-vampire series I gotta see.
Let me remind you it was my first time driving in a DECADE. Yet there I was driving and having a full conversation. I felt like I was on a quirky, competition challenge show - only the show’s challenge might add a dramatic flair: Drive safely while holding a robust conversation with a stranger you have nothing in common with and do it blindfolded!
Drivers, I know you’re thinking, Driving and talking, I do it all the time! But, when you don’t it’s A LOT goin on at once. I wondered how the hell young puberty brains are supposed to learn, drive and retain everything at once.
The rest of the lessons were with a woman who always had good stories for me and made me feel good about highway driving (“This doesn’t seem to bother you at all. So as you can see, the highway is boring!”). We got caught in bumper to bumper traffic on the way back and it felt like a better use of driving lesson since there was more going on. At the end of the last lesson I told her I might see her in the winter for snow driving lessons. I said, “I’ll miss our hangouts!” and she let out a lively smoker’s laugh.
It seems like everyone gets their license at the right age and breezes through without issue, but as I talked about it I realized others have non-traditional driving stories:
City people: at least two friends have never had permits/licenses.
I asked my Uber driver how he likes his car because it was recommended to me by the instructor. Hearing my story, he revealed his wife doesn’t have her license. She never needed or wanted it, even though they live in an unwalkable area.
I met a woman at the grocery store whose 35 year-old daughter recently moved back in with her but doesn’t drive, despite living in a car-lifestyle region. The woman is already tired of having to be her daughter’s personal Uber. She asked how old I am and I think she was excited I’m older than her daughter, since she planned to share my driving journey with her to try to inspire her to take lessons already.
Completing driving lessons is a big deal. The fear is gone. Now I know it’s something I can actually do and do well. Plus, I don’t know if I’ve ever set out to achieve a goal in such a way, so the feel-good boost that comes with achievement is feeling like a new drug I could get into.
Now, I just need a car!!! Drop some new driver car recommendations in the comments.
To city folk and others without licenses, you heard it here first: adult driving lessons are a whole different thing! It’s driving around with a stranger who sees you as an equal. And you’ll be proud when they tell you their foot hasn’t been on the brake the whole time. You got this!